Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Holy Fucking Rabbit Hole, Batman

Holy shit! Did you guys click the links embedded on the video E.C. just posted? If you're on the youtube page and click on the video.google link underneath the profile of the user who uploaded it, you get this:



I don't even know where to begin with this. But I know where to end. After about five minutes.

First of all, these people act like microwave technologies are some sort of terrible secret, when that's not the case. I wish I could find it right now, but it's down (GFK, tell me you have it somewhere), but the New Yorker did a HUGE article last year or so on all kinds of alternate law enforcement methods. I remember reading a bunch of references to it after the DON'T TASE ME, BRO kid hit youtube. Basically it said what everyone else in the mainstream media and government has said: "Effective microwave technology? I WISH!" It followed a retired U.S. military officer who was also an LAPD consultant. The guy kept coming back to the same themes, like, "Alt. tech. is too costly" or "too cumbersome" or "too unreliable" or "not targeted enough" etc.

But you still get articles like this one and videos like the one linked above, saying it's all true. Usually based on eyewitness or "victim" statements. But the victim statements, especially for microwave weapons and sonic confusion devices and all that jazz all usually wind up saying the same thing:

1. I was in a crowd of protesters.
2. Something happened.
3. I got scared.
4. I got nauseous.

Well no shit. You were in a tense situation with lots of people yelling and pushing and maybe tear gas. No fucking shit you got nauseous. The thing is, if you're in an environment where reacting like that physically is TOTALLY NATURAL, turning around and blaming the FEDRAL GUMMYMINT for using mind bullets on you is fucking retarded. Maybe they should use Occam's Razor on you, at least because you'd think it was some weird new technology no one had seen before.

I could have put all this in a comment on E.C.'s piece, but blogger - Fuck Blogger - won't let me embed video code there, or post these AWESOME PICTURES.

The best thing about the video I posted is the pictures. Half of them seem like someone just posting whatever shows up on Google Image Search for "crazy," "rape," CIA" and "mind control." It's a constant rotisserie of trying too hard and not trying hard enough at all. Like someone flipped a coin between driving their point home and driving it into the ground accidentally. The other half is taken from video games and movies and public domain stuff. Just incredible.

Check it out:

I had the sound off, but I'm pretty sure this has something to do with Howard Hughes' preteen love-slave rape protocols.





What?


HAWKMAN FLY TO GET CHEWY DELIGHT FROM CHILD, MAKE FEAR BUT ALSO FRIEND. I LOVE NUTS, GRUBS, ANTS AND TREE BARK IN MY MOUTH.



WELCOME TO THE CIA. MY NAME IS HEIHACHI MISHIMA. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO HAVE YOUR GROIN AND THE GROINS OF YOUR FAMILY MICROWAVED BY BLACK HELICOPTERS, YOU MUST WIN THE KING OF IRONFIST TOURNAMENT.



I'm not kidding. That last picture is literally in the video. No, I don't have any fucking idea what it means

2 comments:

George F.K. said...

I always wondered what it would be like to literally think that the government was poisoning me with odorless gasses or something in the water, until the moment I realized that, if I were that crazy and stupid, I'd wish I could blame it on a single ingestible thing too.

L-Scott said...

That's right. Keep doubting. Assist them in their plan.

Look, I didn't want to tell you this, but the odorless gas they're poisoning you with is your own. First they put an additive in the tap water that stimulates enzyme production that renders your digestion odorless, but it also binds toxins to those enzymes. Meanwhile, you toot away like the Boston pops, little realizing that your odorless gas is filling your apartment with the very miasma that will kill you.

The only way to fight this is to plug your nose and cover your mouth and try to "equalize" by pushing air out of your head. Meanwhile you should be totally naked and holding a zippo in front of your stomach. Trust me, it's going to sting.

You might want to wax first.