Wednesday, July 30, 2008

how can you not be prepared for the olympics when you're a one-party government that can kill your citizens?

no link because you can literally pick ANY online newspaper, and they have an article on this

what totally confuses me is something i said back here, that i cant imagine how you can have a 1-party government that is accountable to NOTHING (not even the international community; i mean, it's just a week until the olympics, and they're still locking their own people up left and right) and still fuck up this hard

think about it, the chinese govt doesnt seem to care too much about the health&welfare of their own people, and yet they didnt think about dropping a few bodies to get this shit done on time? build a dam, fuck a village...all in the game. but build an olympic village...and suddenly there are deadlines and work stoppages? what?

so now we're going to have an olympics where some facilities are sort of slapped together last-minute and of questionable the same time, youre going to get a cynical display of communist unity and perfection from a bunch of poor scared-shitless chinese people dressed up like drum majorettes and oompa-loompa-ing around, going, "Oh-wee-Oh, we're here at gunpoint"

meanwhile, the air is like breathing fucking coffee grounds...this is the other thing thats just totally nuts about china...youve got them fucking up central planning and fucking up this gilded age economics and environmentalism thing. its like theyve managed to fuck up both ends of the socio-political spectrum and crush their people to death in the middle. i feel so bad

Sunday, July 20, 2008

J. Frank Parnell's Radiation-O-Rama

J. Frank Parnell: Ever been to Utah? Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense! Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year. They ought to have 'em, too. When they canceled the project it almost did me in. One day my mind was full to bursting. The next day - nothing. Swept away. But I'll show them. I had a lobotomy in the end.
Otto: Lobotomy? Isn't that for loonies?
Parnell: Not. At. All. Friend of mine had one. Designer of the neutron bomb. You ever hear of the neutron bomb? Destroys people - leaves buildings standing. Fits in a suitcase. It's so small, no one knows it's there until - BLAMMO. Eyes melt, skin explodes, ev-ry-bo-dy dead! So immoral, working on the thing can drive you mad. That's what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's well again.
Thought I'd do this one b/c it looked like a fun one. No real surprises here. Just your basic, MY GOD RADIATION IS SO FREAKIN' GOOD FOR YOU WHY ARE YOU EVEN WORRYING ABOUT IT??? pap that got fed to our parents. Still, let's go to the highlights.


0:57 - "Complete recovery is more probable!"
Oh cool. Lies. I love lies. Tell me more lies.

1:11 " potent and irresistible as the evil spirits of the Indians."
That isn't a lie, that's just crazy insensitive racism. Could you make up something that any asshole could disprove in about a year with a lab not funded by an arms company?

1:40 "The radium-treated dye of your watch, for instance, is harmless!"
Awesome. Thank you. Thank you so much. I hope you died of bone and dick cancer.

2:05 "Not even the atomic-bomb burst... is the DDT of humanity from which there is no escape."
If I can be serious for a second, this makes me suspect this isn't a 50's video as advertised. According to the Knowledge Lords of the Internet, DDT really didn't become a big scary thing nationwide until after 1962 and Rachel Carson's "Silent Spring." So the idea of never getting away from the evil of DDT wouldn't make sense in the 50's. Granted at the time there was a worldwide campaign to wipe out mosquitoes and malaria with it, but that was never 100% effective. Also it's just a REALLY weird metaphor to use. Was everyone in America at the time sitting there thinking things like, "Nobody covers center field like Mickey Mantle. He just blankets it like DDT!" "You can't see anything on that girl. That dress is on her like DDT." Or, "One day I'm gonna slam a guy's head into the mat by falling backward. My name is Jake Roberts. Here is my trouser snake."

2:38 - [Advice for surviving a nuclear blast] "Be somewhere else!"
I'm going back to the beginning of the video right now to see if this was made by the "1+1=2 Educational Film Company." Look for other classics like:
- How to Prevent Drowning: pull your head out of the goddam water
- Can Fires Kill? - YES!
- How to Prevent Dog Bites: kill all dogs

4:05 - [To prove the effectiveness of concrete bunkers, they show four guys in one, chainsmoking and wearing the same outfit and slick hair]
Oh, I get it. To survive the nuclear holocaust, I have to join The Jets.

4:20 - "It is safe to go into the area of a high airburst two minutes after it occurs."
That locomotive engine couldn't possibly be hot. In fact, stick a baby on it! Also, 4:20 smoke dank airburst every day.

5:00 - WORRY vs. DEATHS
This chart is totally fucking amazing.

Now see whatcha got here is your Worry AND your Death. Your WORRYDEATH. 85% of the time, you're gonna have Worry. But then the other percent of the time, BOOM! You're gonna have Death. That's why you've got to get protection in the middle.

Some people say you gotta combine your Worry and your Death. But I want you to look at this! I want you to look at this right here. You take out your Death pie, but it doesn't fit in your Worry! Dudnt make sense! BOOM! That's a nuke going off! You weren't protecting your quarterback! PAY ATTENTION!!!

7:05 - Radiation does not cause impotence! Or sterility! "The dose needed to bring about permanent sterility exceeds the fatal dose."
Just remember that while this agency was telling you this, another agency in the government was NUKING MEN'S BALLS in prisons against their will just to test this out. Guess what? This video is wrong!

8:58 - "These are the probabilities, and they aren't worth losing any sleep over!"
This is like waking up in the middle of the night b/c your wife is shaking you and saying "I heard glass shattering" and then you say, "Holy shit really???" and then she says "nevermind, it's probably nothing," and then you can't sleep for about three fucking hours, b/c if it isn't nothing, you're going to be found slashed to pieces and your kid cut open and boiled for soup. OH, DON'T WORRY! IT'S ONLY DEATH! AND YOU NEED SLEEP, RIGHT?????

9:02 - "Besides, a mutation can be a good variation, an improvement over the parent!"
10:1 the writer of this film was a mutation from a good human being.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

fist pumping and totalitarianism?

am i the only one who feels like the best soviet stuff just dropped off the radar in the last 11 months???

i was looking through our old myspace posts and some of the stuff on the old board, and all the links are just dead...its like someone got to whoever uploaded them (kidding!), but doesnt it seem weird? why would interest in this die out? why would cool stuff just not be there to load? you cant find anything anymore

best example...i keyword searched about a dozen different things, and the best i could come up with was the same result over and over for one of Stalins b-day celebrations...the video doesnt show anything new, but watch it and let me get back to you

ok, is there a relationship between how un-free your nation is and how free your leader's elbows are?

all the soviets, hitler, mussolini...they look like theyre conducting an orchestra when they talk

roosevelt was never like this, and he had more central authority as president than probably anyone...except bush II...and LBJ

chavez bangs the podium too, like hes angry

the only one who doesnt flip out and get angry and who still has really unquestioned power is bush

maybe thats why he leans on the podium...folksy...throws everyone else off their game

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Terror Cells Kill Tony Snow

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Former White House press secretary Tony Snow -- who once told reporters "I'm a very lucky guy" -- died at the age of 53 early Saturday after a second battle with cancer.
Hate to see a guy meet a timetable like that.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The tragic/weird life of Wilhelm Reich

it's been a month and I feel like posting again. apparently disabling comments did little to deter matt and les from e-mailing me their thoughts (soo funny guys, now i know what a lemon party is), so i give up. let 'er rip.

reich was a rejected student of freud. he fathered primal scream therapy and had some very astute observations on the origins of fascism. but then he went nuts and thought he had discovered the energy that all life was derived from.

and it's a shame because he had highly progressive ideas on sex education, abortion,contraception, feminism, etc. but this is overshadowed by his work that he pursued in the US after fleeing nazi germany because of persecution for the ideas that should have been his legacy (not that this would be the first time nazis ruined a good idea for everyone else).

so, Wilhelm Reich (it's an odd name, like being named Napoleon France) fled Germany, rejected by his mentors and his government, and set up shop in Oslo. It's a story too convoluted for a single blog post to explain how he went from being a commie sex therapist to a whacko theorist of space monads but it has something to do with him studying the galvanometric resistance of a vagina during orgasm and the belief that he saw a box of sand glow in the dark during an unrelated experiment about cancer cells..

so fast forward to the 1950s. wilhelm reich has been living in the US on a piece of land he named 'Organon,' in honor of the Orgone Energy, the force of life he had come to believe in. what is orgone exactly? have you ever rubbed your eyes and looked at a sunny sky and seen little lights or points moving? that's Orgone. it's not that crazy of an idea in many cultures. indians call it prana, the chinese call it chi. the soviets had a scientific hypothesis of life energy called 'bioplasma'.
laugh if you want, but even the US took it seriously for a time, though they denied it.

do i personally believe in orgone? no. i think there are far more plausible models of zero point energy to be investigated and pursued. but that said, i believe that his intentions were noble and that at certain times he may have been observing real effects even if he didnt know how to explain them. eventually, he wound up in a jail cell, his books burned by the FDA and his mind so gone (the US govt burned his books, can you blame him?) that he died believing his weather research was being sanctioned by aliens, and that everytime a plane passed over his cell, it was a message of goodwill from his secret ally president eisenhower.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008