Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Gas Prices Hit $100/Barrel


It's the highest gas/barrel cost in history.

Obviously, this is going to change our lives in ways we can't anticipate, but right now I feel comfortable making predictions about how others will cope and how their lives will change.

• Instead of chasing them, will let the black helicopters come to him.
• Saves money on gas mask filters because fewer planes in the sky mean fewer chemtrails.
• Buys another handgun just to be sure.
• Buys a shotgun to test theory of "shooting away high prices."

• Stops doing everything to save money for his girlfriend's shopping excursions.
Stops having safe sex because petroleum is used in producing latex condoms, and every little bit helps. Whoops, already took care of this.
• Will get back to you on other changes, waiting for what girlfriend says about them.


L-Scott said...

- Moves into a warren inside the Green Monster to save on the Fenway commute.
- Buys 1,000 solar powered calculators, runs laptop off it.
- Blogs really fucking hard.

George F.K. said...

If we're going by onomatopoeia, anyone who's eaten more than one Fenway Frank has gone home and blogged like hell.