Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wham, Bam, Hologram
So the big news yesterday was something about america's first black president being covered for the first time ever by the first female hologram to ever appear on CNN.(way to try to upstage history with such a dumb and trivial stunt guys)
But if you are a crazy person, this would actually be like the millionth time a hologram has been seen on CNN... don't believe me? lets roll the tubes...
Exhibit 1- WTC destroyed by missile disguised as a plane using a holographic projection
i dont even know what to say about this one. these people are such assholes...this brilliant theorist posits that a gleam of light coming off the plane as it hits the building and explodes is a 'scalar flash...' ok. sure. what? i'm tempted to send this guy a video of someone lighting a fart and telling him that it's evidence of a 'positronic vector-based replasmatation..."
Exhibit 2- Shapeshifting journalists working for the reptilian conspiracy
ok before i go into this i just need to say, please don't annotate your vids with captions in comic sans and knock it off with the fucking techno...i can only imagine paul revere warning us that the british were coming while wearing tevas and waving one light stick by land and 2 if by sea...for fuck's sake, if the world is really in danger, try to make us take you seriously...
so, some people believe that a race of reptile humanoids from space or hell or the center of the earth are conspiring to eat us..and they even walk among us despite having slitted pupils and millions of razor sharp teeth and hideous scales. how? holograms, duh. bush? reptile. cheney? do you have to ask? the royal family, cindy mccain, fox news reporters, cnn, they're all in the tank for the conspiracy. but every now and then, one of the truth seekers out there gets a little too close to their tv while wearing a foil hat and fucks with their reception...you've seen digital artifacting before...a digital transmission lags for a minute and then you get pixels from multiple frames over time overlapping and the image starts to look really funky...i saw it used to pretty good effect in a Presets video once... but that explaination sounds a little too convoluted doesnt it? more likely is that these people on tv are experiencing a glitch in the holographic field that keeps them looking as lovable and mammilian as elizabeth hasselbeck.
Exhibit 3- Kate Moss as a hologram for Alexander McQueen
i dunno, she's in a pyramid, thats like freemasonry or ancient aliens right? pyramids. yeah.