Wednesday, April 16, 2008

YOUR COMMIE!!! - More Different Than You Think

First of all GFK, sorry for making this a new post. I'm not trying to WAR on you or anything. It's just that blogger - fuck blogger - doesn't let you embed pics and youtubes in comments.

Obviously I get what you're talking about. Look at that video. It's a joke. I wouldn't show that to someone trying to sell GM cars in the field. (Then again, maybe I would. More on this later.) Fuck being a field agent for the CIA. It's a joke as any kind of field-training primer. But you're getting caught up in MST3K'ing it instead of seeing what else it has.

0:53 - An agent acts in "intemperate fashion" by drinking booze. We lose the Cold War.

1:11 - An agent holds hands with a strange woman. We lose the Cold War.

1:28 - An agent sits in a huge plane cabin where there are no seatbelts (did they have them then?) but basically drinks too much and tells technological details to a stranger. We lose the Cold War.

4:23 - "The writing from her back home is no substitute for being home!" This is the explanation for a guy walking out on his wife to find another woman. Look how hard it is for him to walk out. He even wadded up the picture with the other girl's face on it. Infidelity=hard to succumb to! Succumbing to infidelity=We lose the Cold War!

Then we see the weird mental derail of this guy getting laid. Like his brain shuts off in Eastern Europe when someone shakes the goods.

Look at this guy's face when he's about to go get laid with someone who's not his wife. First he licks his lips like some lizard, then he stares like he saw Jesus.

That not bad enough? Then,

6:35 - [this is verbatim] "'No!,' he thought. 'It couldn't have happened to him. Not to him!'"

It's like the voice-over is talking about catching VD. He got caught by foreign spies but... chlamydia!!!

8:50 - "Walk the straight path abroad just as you would at home!"

The big mistake you're making is thinking this is either totally real or totally a joke. It's either one, for CIA agents. But why would anyone make a film this bad for them? This is schlock aimed at the American public. It's got a 1964 copyright on it, and it was probably written in 1964 and meant to be distributed in 1964.

You know the history of the CIA better than anyone here. You know them. They weren't liberal. They've always been New England Presbyterians with guns and the presidency and data. You think they'd leak this without a point? If this is real, it's not an intelligence training video. It's an America training video. Don't drink. Don't fuck. Don't tell that Ford rep on the plane what GM is up to.

Loose Lips Sink Myths!


George F.K. said...

You know what? I feel like an idiot. I can't believe I missed that. I think I got caught up in how completely stupid the thing was and didn't even bother asking what the intended audience probably would be. It just seemed so painfully amateurish that it almost had to be devoid of intent, you know?

stir.max.alot said...

that guy looks like a fucking lizard

you can see his tongue coming out in that first picture

he's scenting the air

the only way he can smell hot eustern european babes is by licking at them from far away

fyi e.c does this too, all the time, with american ladies