This guy's a pretty great mimic. He exaggerates everything, so most of it comes off as mocking, which means you Sox HAAAATAHS ought to get a kick out of it. The Youkilis one is at the end and absolutely worth it. God, I hate having to root for that guy.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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Is he the biggest asshole you've ever had to root for? Because he sure seems like the biggest asshole anyone would have to root for.
I sometimes ask myself that. I think some of the problem is his race. I dislike his bitchiness, his whining, his flipping out on people and his standing about two feet out of the end of the batter's box. But on the whole, none of that's that bad. What bugs me is how I wind up resenting all that. He gets called a "gamer" and "scrappy" and basically gets praised for being an asshole while being white. Milton Bradley acted pretty much the same way just two years ago, and everyone called him "violent" and "a head case." I'm just tired of apologizing for him and for the free pass he gets in the media where a player of color would get blasted for being "out of control."
But that's beside the point, because every time I start wondering if he's really that bad, I remember: Carl Everett.
I love rereading this; I don't care how many times.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/features/cover/news/2000/07/19/everett_flashback/
Dinosaurs? "Didn't exist."
Uh, come again?
"God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve," Everett said last Friday, before the Red Sox lost two of three in Atlanta. "The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus rex."
What about dinosaur bones?
"Made by man," he says.
Everett has trouble, too, with the idea of man actually walking on the moon. After first rejecting the notion, he concedes, "Yeah, that could have happened. It's possible. That is something you could prove. You can't prove dinosaurs ever existed. I feel it's far-fetched."
the other day i thought i was walking by a Union 76 street sign but it was just mo vaughn in an orange mets jersey
my local tire place was too cheap to pay for a celebrity endorsement, so they just put a sox jersey on the michelin man and kids were running in the place to meet mo vaughn
whenever they wore those stupid all-red shirts, i always thought mo should have burst through the green monster and screamed "MO YEAH"
Aaaaahahahaha.
You can't prove I laughed at that, by the way.
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