Congratulations to the New England Patriots

18-1.

I almost didn't post this. I said to myself, "It's 4th down. You've got to kick it here. Take the three points."

But I said to myself, "No, go for the first down. Don't settle for any less than 7."

SCORE!

Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox

for winning the World Series.

Also congrats to you, GFK.

You dick.

Here's a joke:

Q: What's the difference between Red Sox and Yankee fans?

A: Nothing. Everyone else in the world thinks you're both assholes.

Okay, that's not very funny. Here's another one.

Q: What's the difference between the Yankees and the Red Sox?

A: The Yankees spent $140,805.545 more on payroll than the Rockies, and the Red Sox only spent $89,102.214 more.

You might not laugh at that one either. Sorry. But at least you guys are a true baseball team, unlike those evil Yankees who just buy championships. You had a lot of home grown talent. You had Youkilis, Pedroia, Ellsbury and Lester. You only ran out and bought:

Manny Ramirez

David Ortiz

Jason Varitek

Coco Crisp

J.D. Drew

Julio Lugo

Mike Lowell

Curt Schilling

Josh Beckett

and

Daisuke Matsuzaka.

And you only had to spend $51,111,111.11 just to get the rights to offer him a contract! (That's more than the total payrolls of four different teams.) Then you only spent $52 million ON his contract. (That's also more than the total payrolls of four different teams.) Combined, that's more money on one pitcher than 24 other teams spend on their whole rosters in a year!

You guys are such lovable losers!

(Two WS in three years)

(Fuck you.)